When something happens no matter how trivial or important I want to share it with you, but I can't. So, I live with this level of anxiety that sits in my stomach like butterflies. It's always there, sometimes it's a small flutter. Other times I can't think about anything else because it's a constant ache.
It's always there....it makes me want to call you on the phone, hear your voice, share my triumphs, my failures, my everything.
I wonder if this feeling will ever go away? Is it there because you are struggling and even after all this time my heart knows when something is wrong? Is it because you are thinking about me and I feel it? What is it that keeps me connected to you?
I wonder if this is how my mom felt when he died....always wanting, needing, wondering.....longing, with no chance of ever getting back what they had together.
The you I knew is dead, so I won't call you.......but I want to really bad.
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