- eat better
- move more
- write more
- make more friends
- volunteer
- pay off my bills
- do something I've never done before...whatever that might be
But I think the most important thing I need to do is let go in my heart. I so wanted to believe that my marriage wasn't a lie, but I know now that he never loved me....because if he did we'd still be together. I guess I'm still in love with the lie....the man I thought he was, the man I believed he could be. Oh I so wanted to believe that he would love me like I loved him.....sigh. Honestly I still can't believe that I will never see him again......I miss him so much! Letting go.....it ain't so easy!!!
People that I thought were friends have gone by the wayside and I want answers that I know I will never get....I miss the connections, the funny phone calls, knowing that somebody cares about me enough to put in a little bit of effort to remain friends.
It's impossible, when people go away, not to wonder, "what is wrong with me?" "am I not a good friend?" "am I not worthy?"
I guess I'll never know......maybe I don't really want to know......letting go is my goal!!
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